From Baby to No Baby

On 16th Feb, I was making kaju go to sleep for his nap time and while playing he kicked my tummy. I told him then, "kaju their is baby in Mamma's tummy, don't kick"

I can never forget his smile, full of excitement and happiness,to know about baby. As my due date was in Oct, we told him, he will get a brother or sister after his b'day.

One day Kaju came and started patting my tummy, I said, what are you up too? He replied,I am playing with baby :)

Also sometimes when he is very excited,he will scream loud,when I was pregnant and he will scream,suddenly he will come and touch my tummy and say "Mamma,did baby got scared". So chweet of Kaju !

Then Manish and myself laid down with Viral, we thought its good kaju goes to full time pre-school day care and that saved him from fever.

On 9th March after Kaju left for school and Manish for office, I went to Doctor and came to know about my miscarriage. I think I can never explain anyone how desperate I was to meet,see and touch Kaju,after loosing my unborn child. I gave him a very tight hug when he came back from school in evening. We didn't say anything to him.

On 11th March when Manish took me to hospital for my surgery, a friend of us,Sameer, picked kaju from school. While they were waiting for the cab, Kaju said to him "Sameer Uncle, baby will come after my b'day".

It was after few days of my surgery when Tara(Sameer's wife) told me about what kaju said.

One day he screamed and said, "Mamma did baby got scared"
I said "No beta, there is no baby"
Manish said to him "Baby went to God"
Kaju replied "Why! I want my baby back" and I didn't had any answers for him.

Few days after that, we were lying on bed ,preparing to sleep in night. Kaju was lying besides me as always and he said it loud "God, please send the baby back in Mamma's tummy, please"

I didn't had anything to do except just hug him very tight.

He got so disturbed looking at me sick for days, no baby, that he never wanted to go to school , he said to me "I cannot go to school, I have to take care of Mamma and Papa at home"

I think this was the most difficult time for Kaju till now. The first toughest time of his life has passed by. I wish he never have to face any more tough and bad time in life.